Stop and Stare

So now Just Stop and Stare,
I know we're moving on the same path
But in reality we are going no where.
Let's stop and smell the roses now and let us
be fair. This is not good-bye, it is not
the end. Come dry your tears
for me now. Or you could just
Cry your Heart out now. Cry your
heart out now...

Reaching out

     I think, its coming to me.
     Feelings are piling up.
     I know i might explode soon.
     I need a release..
     I need a cure.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, its going to be the start of school. Back to poly again, back to student life. It will not be the same as 3 years ago. My classmates are going to come from different countries, different age groups and different background. I'm going to have learn to work with them for the next 6 months. There's not going to be sweet or rosy memories. There is no dota game after school, no basket ball, no badminton, no ping pong games. All they are concern is for their own benefits. All they need are tips from lecturers. Sharing of tips? You wait long long. There was this case where 2 sri lanka students went to lecturer's office to ask for exam tips. He had already given the class sufficient hints for the exam paper and yet, those 2 still ask for more. After that, the lecturer change the paper totally and only those 2 pass (backstabbers). So, am i worried about my classmates?  For sure yes. One thing is certain, I'm not there to make any BFF. I just study and those students don't come and disturb me.

Holidays

these past few days have been wonderful. its been a while since i can remember that i had enjoy myself so much. thank you for the company, thank you for the joy, thank you for the laughter, thank you for the memories. mei yu, jin fang and last but not least ye ling thank you all, for being understanding, caring and lending a listening ear.

Comeback home

Last night reached home, On the van journey back i suddenly feel that i'm feeling stress up. I think its cause on the ship i'm working all the time. There is no time to truly know how i feel. I thought i should be happy and free but i feel unexpectedly tired. Couldn't think about anything but just to reach home and see my mom bro and dad. After sending the Chief/Engineer back, i saw how happy he is holding his child up, hugging him and 'dancing in his arms' his wife waiting for him. A happy family. An hour later, i reached home. My brother and mom was waiting for me at the void deck. My mind was relax, took a shower had dinner. It was like i've never left home. Everything is in its own place. Feels like i just left home yesterday. Now, i'm looking forward to my studies and first hope to faster register for it. Hope that the lecturer still kept a sit for me.

Inspire

Sometimes i think how did i manage to write what i wrote. I guess its from the happenings around me. Things that that i see or stuffs that i imagine. For isn't fact a fraction of our imagination? Song and music plays a big part in my life. My last entry was inspired by that song playing in the juke box right now. =)

Hands down

The streets are white`as I look out the window.
I heard a knock on the door.
I open it and let you in, you stood at the door.
Your hands on my waist, the scent of your hair as you lean forward.
Your lips are smooth as they graze mine.
And you kiss me like you mean it, you mean it like i knew you would.
As we move by the fire place, lay down on the rug.
The fragrance of your perfume on me as we lay intertwine.
Your silky hair shimmering by the candle light.
The beating of your heart in my ears.
The air is bless as we breath the same breath.
Our movements fluid as one unit.
Soft sound of music playing blanketed by our sounds of passion.
Hands down, this is the best thing I ever remember, always remember.

numb

I'm scared, scared I'm losing myself, my core self. So I keep to myself, my thoughts, my feelings. This way, nobody knows what I think, know what I feel. I ended up not knowing what to do, how to feel.. With no thoughts and numb feeling, I change into what I fear the most. I become my father.

a feeling

In just 2 weeks, the ship will reach Singapore again. How time passes by. Its already 5 and a half months onboard. I feel empty.  Really loveless. Why am I feeling so lonely?

the reason

Here i am, all alone. No one else to see me. Not meeting anyone else. All the same, its all the same. And the only people you know are those who are sailing. Soon, a few years later. You find yourself all alone. And you don't know why.