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Trophy gathers dust
applause dies away
women run away
nothing is forever
nothing stays the same
all good things comes to an end

People are changing
hearts are evolving
bodies bruised
hearts shattered
but the will to survive lives on
for a better life
for a better future

Now is the time
now is the future
tomorrow is today
there is no better day then the one in front of you

"Life is beautiful"
life can be beautiful
if you let it be
let nature into your heart
let mother nature furnish your soul
heal that broken heart
solve that problem running in your head.

Let light show you the way..

Chances

tonight, i want to talk about chances. they say chances lost are never to be found again. they say if you happen to stumble upon a chance, you should grab it by the horns and catch it not letting go. they also say chances happen when you least expected. when you're not prepared. what do you do when that chance is presented before you? do i have to be prepare all the time? always in a state of readiness? if i miss that moment, will i miss it forever? or will there be another chance? how many chance must i miss before they are gone? how many chances are ther left for me to go before they are long gone? i guess.. its not much now.. night you all.. sleep tight now, qwen signing out..

oh ya, brought these just now.. ice cream was ok but the soyabean was yucky.. will never buy that brand again..

Weight of the World

Why do the children these days walk with the weight of the whole world on their shoulders?

Career

I wonder why i choose this career. I guess it's because I've a mechanical liking for things. Wanting to know, since young, the inside of equipment. How it works. What makes it work.

Distance is 5km

click for a larger picture

After my bickering post yesterday, i went for a jog this morning. Its amazing that a midnight snack of mac'spicy chicken meal can provide so much energy in the morning! Found that my left ankle hurts when i jog. Could be cause of my old injuries or stay at home too long already. Warm up a little b4 i jog, stretch my legs a bit. Walk a bit half way cause lower back area is hurting. Body is still stiff early in the morning. Carried on jogging for a while more. Did some short sprints on the way back home. Morning sun is great..

dreams..

Playing basketball together with young kids. They just seem so lively. Then there's me, still stuck in the shadow of my youth. I'm just thinking about my life, my love life. How it sucks right now. Really, why am i thinking about those things? Do i need to be well built? To be big size? For the girls? You are kidding me right? This for the girls, this for the girls, that is all so.. so so rubish! Who cares?! WTF? I use to exercise for fun, cause i enjoy sweating out. Feeling the limits of my body...

Hush

My dreams are growing into

Frustrations when I hear your voice

Repeating words that bring me down

Feeding me till I’m choking

Ringing, my ears are bleeding

Hold your breath and spare me

This pointless conversation, I’m running out of patience

Hush, don't speak a word about the dreams that I live for

Silence your harsh words

Words

Baby,

You had probably know that I'm leaving. I'm not good with words so I thought it would be better if i wrote a letter. The truth is, I always love you, i love you so much, you are my baby and don't you ever forget that. I always care about you and be with you to talk to you. You have no idea how much i love you. Now that I'm leaving, i thought u should know that I will always love you. You have always been by my side, standing for me. I didn't think i could love someone else as much as i love you. You're the only one I'll see for the rest of my life. I will miss kissing you like before, miss cuddling up like how we use to. I will always miss you and that's a promise. You'll always have my love, you'll always be my love and i want you to remember that. Baby please keep this letter because this may be the last time I'll ever write to you. I love you so much..... Goodbye

- Leaving

可以吗?

"你一定可以的" - One of my friend said that to me
when I said "I wonder if I can find a girlfriend when in my 30's."

Shoulder

Put your head on my shoulders,
kiss me once or twice baby.
Tell me that you love me baby,
say that you'll be mine.

Mom 06/08/08

Dear Mom, its been 2 weeks since i last left home for work. How have you been? How is your work place? Now then i realise real work is really hard. I've just started working only 2 weeks while you and dad had work more than half your life to earn money to bring up the family. EArning money to bring up me and didi. It must have been very very hard. Now I have to say thank you for bringing us up. Even though I cannot say it in person but I want to write to you to express my gratitude. i think if I am working on shore, I will not feel this way. Only when I am away, so far away from home, do I have this feeling. A Big thankyou to mom and dad

Sunday 03/08/08

Today is Sunday. Nothing much to do today., did the routine checks and that's about it. Pretty free for the rest of the day. Sleep a little after lunch from 1-2.30. Waking up thinking its morning, gotta get readly for work. Only when i saw the clock did I realise that its still Sunday afternoon. Went to the gym from 4-5.30. Try out all of the equipments there. Felt really pump up! I must go again next Sunday. Went up to see the stars again. There really are lots and lots of them.

Longing for

I long for some closeure. To have someone that I trust, I like, I love, I adore, I know. To hug, to cuddle, to embrace, in each other's warmth, breath of sweet kisses. Long for your embrace. But now I have no one, I feel no one, nobody, nothing, I'm numb.

Clear Consicence

The truth is, the moral compass can
only point you in the right direction
It can't make you go there
Our culture preaches that
you should'nt be ashamed of
anything you do any more
And unforturnately, this city
is built on a principle that
there's no such thing as guilt
"Do whatever you want, we will'nt tell"
So without conscience, there's nothing
to stop you from killing someone.
And eventually, you don't even
have to feel bad about it

Diary 01/11/08

Writing in my diary has been the greatest enjoyment I have on the ship. I am able to pen down my thoughts, write down my feelings what I felt about the day, any events that happened or what I hope in the future. 10.30pm now, a good time to sleep. So damn tired keeping a relationship with people I don't know, people I don't trust. I just want some peace here.

童话

Let me tell you a story. Its a love story. But a true story never the less.

There was a boy, he is a bright boy. Tall and lenghty, out spoken and easy with people. There's no air about him, a very down to earth guy who understands the important of relationship with people. Who, sees the environment around him, the people and is able to talk about it as he remembers them in great details.

He was on a trip to Genting with his family members. on the bus, a girl and her mom seat beside him. The mom notice that this boy looks bored and asked her brother to chat with him. The boy chatted with this uncle for a while. Along the trip the mom had a good impression of him. As they got down the bus, she ask him of his place of study. It seems that he was studying in the same school as her daughter as the girl knew him from school. As he is a very tall guy, everybody in school knows him but he don't know them all. They exchange polite smiles and he thought that's that.

Along the way back, they were sitting back in the same seats. This time the girl' mother was sleeping and she ease away time by sms-ing. The boy too, was daydreaming watching the cars passing by the window. Feeling bored, he turn back into his seat and took a look at the girl. She was still sms-ing lazily and she turn her head too, look at him too. They look into each others eyes for a while, glazing as if trying to fiind a reaction behind the eyes. They smile and soon chatted up.

She was year 88 and he was 86, they studied in the same school and even come from the same village. She's studing in form 6 now. While he's doing a poly course in Marine Engineering.

Soon, they were dating. While the girl's mother approve of this relationship, the dad was another story. he was fiercely protective of his daughter. The boy never pick her up in front of her gate. He will always wait at the end of the alley, leading towards the rear of the house. The date was always done in secrecy, with mother planning behind. Dad caught them a few times, and he always have a broom in his hands. Once he caught the boy and ask him to stop the car and come out. The boy being unable to run away having no choice, got out of the car and prepare himself for whatever that may come. but the dad shock him, as he ask the boy to follow him to police station. The mother come out, advice and persuade the dad to stop this crazyness and shoo the boy to bring the girl out for a date.

But, unknown to the boy, the girl have an illness. She have blood cancer. The boy had supected something. She will always bring her medicine pills on the date. However, she did'nt tell the boy what it is. Not even when the boy ask her a few times. He knew something was going on. She would faint sometimes or feel dizzy or her temperature would fall rapidly. That's why, the boy would always hold her hand whenever he's driving. He would turn the steering wheel, change the shifter, put on signal, all using one hand. While the other is hold onto her hand. Feeling her warmth. In case he needs to stop the car to rub her hands that had turn cold. Then one day, she told him, " I have leukemia." But she doesn't want to go for treatment no matter how many times her dad have tell her to. Cause she have long hair and she loves being pretty cause she's a princess at home. She had tried working even when her dad advice her not to. She quit after 2 months. She studied for a while at collage. It stopped after 1 month too.

Soon, it was the girl's birthday, the boy went over to her place and together they had a small celebration in her room. They chatted for what seems like eternally until late at night and the girl fall asleep in his arms while their favorite songs played in the background. The boy woke up early, rays of the morning sun was shining softly thru the windows. The girl was still on his arms, laying there peacefully, motionlessly. The room was strangely quiet. He try to wake her up... he put his hand under her nose, trying to feel her breath....

The First Post

This is'nt the first time i'm blogging. Use to blog on msn live.But i stop after a while, the novelty had die out. This time, my blog is different. I'll select different anecdote from my diray, yes my diary. Hard to believe is'nt it, at times like this somebody actually write down his thoughts on a diray. To pen down his feelings in the privacy of his own room, in the security of his own book.